Idiot Law

I propose a name for the kind of legislation and/or regulatory action that aims to prevent Idiots from suffering the natural consequences of their Idiocy: Idiot Law.

The Buckyballs fiasco would fall under this heading. Regulators: “Toddlers don’t read warning labels!” Idiots: “I left an obviously unsuitable-for-children object where my child could reach it! I probably also leave poisonous household chemicals where small children can find them! Sue the manufacturers!”


Here’s a new one: laws against “revenge porn,” in which angry ex-boyfriends publish the naked pics their ex-girlfriends gave them. Names and contact information attached.

You know, if you go around taking naked photographs of yourself, and then give them to a man you’re not 100% certain you’ll be spending the rest of your life with, I’m not terribly sympathetic with your plight. “You don’t want to really think that five years down the line, your boyfriend at the time could be your not-boyfriend and do something really bad to you”?? Since when was hiding your head in the sand an acceptable adult approach to reality? And the feminists can take their cries of “victim-blaming” and stuff them where the sun don’t shine, either. Reality bites. No amount of sermonizing about proper male behavior is going to prevent some small subsection of bad actors from acting badly. Therefore it behooves the women to act with the knowledge that this week’s Mr. Charming might actually be Mr. Borderline Personality, and leaving Mr. Borderline Personality in possession of your sexy nude photos after an acrimonious breakup is a good way to become Internet Gutter Famous and a stalker target. I mean, what the fuck, are women STILL falling for that old “You’d do it if you loved me!” line?? Little ones, that line is a dealbreaker, as in you break up IMMEDIATELY and refuse all contact in the future. Restraining order optional.

Now, that’s not to say that we shouldn’t have some kind of law of privacy, since society has degraded into license to the point where men and women may no longer be trusted with full freedom. Only a self-controlled people may be trusted with freedom: a people who will see the difference between “legal” and “moral” and “can” and “ought.” A self-controlled people wouldn’t be taking nude photographs of themselves in the first place, because they could see that the risk of that sort of thing going public far outweighs the “value” of providing one’s current squeeze a masturbation aid. *coughAnthonyWeinercough*

Note, oh shrieking feminist harpy, that I think that the angry boyfriends responsible should indeed suffer some consequence for deliberately engaging in an action with the reasonable expectation that that action will cause not just emotional distress, but a significant chance of physical and financial harm, as well. However, I still say to the women: Don’t be a dumbass. Have some class! Respect your own self by not putting that self in an obviously permanently hazardous situation for the sake of momentary gain. (I’m sure you have some bikini-on-the-beach photos somewhere. Use those instead. And if the boy-toy doesn’t like it, tell him to take a hike!)


About pancakeloach :)
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