Safewords

So apparently some Cloudcuckoolander from Vox got within visual range of reality and went back to the magical cloudland to tell the other leftists why conservatives won’t give up their guns after mass shootings. Unfortunately the leftist had no mental reference for conservative thought patterns so he was mostly dead wrong about it, but it got some conservatives excited that maybe one of the Cloudcuckoolanders might be able to see and comprehend some small slice of reality. (They can’t.)

As a militant pro-Western-Civ Anglo-American traditionalist, I fall on the right wing, and it’s well known that people on the right understand people on the left far more than vice-versa. (Leftists only believe themselves to be the empathetic ones because they imagine that everyone on the planet thinks exactly as they do. All evidence to the contrary resolutely ignored.) Since this is the case, I will venture a metaphor to explain to the Cloudcuckoolanders why conservatives will never give up their guns in terms that liberals will be able to understand.

Dear Liberal, imagine you are meeting someone in person for the first time to hook up, and you both expressed an interest in bondage while you were chatting online. Now, if you tell this guy your safeword, and the first thing he says to that is, “Oh no, you don’t need a safeword with me, baby! Just trust me!” as he grabs you, would you let him cuff you to the bed, or would you spray the creepy rapist in the face with pepper spray, taser him for good measure, and run away to the police to file sexual assault charges and get a restraining order?

Guns are the safewords of politics. Liberals say things like, “If there are ever to be gun laws passed in the US, any kind of policy response to the rising tide of mass shootings, it will be because the people who want it amass the political power to overwhelm the power of the gun lobby.” You know what that sounds like to real Americans? “Just trust me with these cuffs, baby. You don’t need a safeword.”

Note the two lies in the quoted passage about liberals using the force of government to impose their will on others – the implication that America doesn’t already have gun laws, and the “rising tide” line – actual stats show that gun violence has been in decline for many years, while the number of privately owned guns has steadily increased. These are the people saying trust us.

And that’s why liberals will never, ever get real Americans to give up their guns. They’re a bunch of liars with no respect for the civil rights of anyone who disagrees with them.

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About pancakeloach

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2 Responses to Safewords

  1. I remember seeing that same metaphor in speculative fiction novel about the future were the members of the gun culture actually started using their guns to kill the bureaucrats trying to take their guns away. It was called UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES by John Ross. Have you read it?

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