And the pendulum swings

The idea of marriage as an official recognition of infatuation has obviously failed, so now brave new pioneers are searching online for “co-parents“: people to “help” raise children – without sex or romance. (Notice that the relationship very closely resembles the Child Support model of no-fault divorce “marriage.”)

My own opinion is that if you fail so abysmally at the mating game that you can’t actually snag a committed mate who wants to reproduce with you and get him to go through today’s farcical marriage, that can be dissolved on a whim, you have no business whatsoever procreating at all. Period. I mean, if you can’t get an independent adult to commit to living with you on a kinda-sorta-maybe-permanent basis, you seriously should not be creating a small, helpless, dependent human person to be your personal life-fulfillment slave for the rest of your existence. Especially since, no matter the arguments for “oh this is better than this OTHER failure mode” of human reproduction, a husband and wife living together offer something fundamentally far more valuable to their children than any co-parent ever can: a functioning model of a full human pair-bonded mate relationship. Good luck to the “co-parented” kids when they hit puberty and start dating, ’cause they’re sure gonna need it! (I’m minded of the moral of the TV show Once Upon A Time, which can be summarized as “nobody f***s you up like your parents.” Seriously.)

However, all the issues which such co-parents hash out together – spiritual beliefs, life philosophies and goals, parenting styles – all of that is exactly what people prior to the marriage-as-public-infatuationromance model would have done. Marriage has been far more like a permanent business contract that happens to include sexual reproduction as an important component for far longer than it’s been romantically companionate.

One of the Insty commenters points out one of the glaring logical fallacies contained in the article – in that a communal “village” has determined that accepting single mothers instead of couples into their community is detrimental. So much for needing a village to raise a child! What’s even more obvious in the comments from “co-parent” Hope is that she is not in fact building a new kind of family – she is setting out to create a very typical post-divorce “shared parenting” relationship with multiple baby daddies, just without the marriage part first. Why go through all the bother of actually getting married when what these women really want is an extra pair of adult hands and an extra paycheck? In today’s society where men have little to no legal rights to their children, a woman doesn’t even have to promise sex in order to get a man to sign up as her gravy train – she’s essentially just signing him up as domestic help!

That there are men who are willing to sign themselves up for this just for the opportunity to be somewhat involved in their child’s life is incredibly sad commentary on the state of modern society.

What’s more is the “failed experiment” of the nuclear family is actually what built Western civilization into a world-dominating culture. It’s just the more recent romantic serial monogamy form of “marriage” which has failed. These women are riding the coat-tails of social capital set up by the standard for lifelong marriage; the sort of polyandry they enjoy (while permanently extracting male resources) couldn’t be maintained in any other culture.

With the advent of reproductive technologies commoditizing human life, and the rise of rent-a-womb surrogates who sell offspring to order, I think we are not too far out from seeing things come full circle as men who want children contract with women surrogates to be the domestic help. In which case we come right back to Ye Olden Dayz, don’t we? I doubt the feminists will allow that – they obviously much prefer this new arrangement in which children are owned by their mothers and the fathers are required to sell their bodies through domestic help and income-generating labor in order to have access to their own children.

You can try to rework human nature as much as you want but in the end biology is an inescapable dictator. You can have WIC and child support orders but in the end, having two biological parents involved is just better.

Even if you really suck at adult relationships and have a proven track record of an inability to maintain them.

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About pancakeloach

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