I’m being oppressed by the laundry.
No, really, stop laughing! In the far distant past, long before any archaeological evidence anybody can ever possibly find, humanity lived in perfect matriarchal harmony with nature, and everyone went around naked all the time, so there weren’t any dirty clothes to be washed.
Ergo, clothes are patriarchal oppression, and washing clothes is double patriarchal oppression, even though I’m pretty sure the washing machine – in all its various incarnations since the 1800s – is a male invention. Probably so that their wives wouldn’t be too tired (IYKWIM) after a long day slapping clothes on rocks down by the river, those patriarchal male chauvinists, making life easier for their wives… why are you looking at me like that?
(That particular tribe sadly died of exposure due to climate change.)
Okay, I’m not being oppressed. I’m actually testing the cleansing power of OxyClean on some washcloths that are otherwise destined to become rags, and whether or not all the work we did last week vacuuming out the dryer vent and the dryer itself will result in drier clothes or whether there’s something else wrong with the thing. Further testing to be carried out tomorrow. Also, I’m extremely proud of myself for hemming a pair of jeans I got extremely cheaply at a discount clothing store. (Pretty sure my matriarchal ancestors would be ashamed of my sewing skills.)