No One is Obliged to Validate You

There is a certain class of narcissistic person who will insist upon disclosing their personal information to the general public, but then become extremely upset if any part of the general public fails to validate them by (a) showering praise upon them, or (b) shutting up.

For example, a woman who blogs at The Frisky decided to write about her love life while she was divorcing her husband and sleeping around, and Dalrock, a blogger who examines the cultural mores surrounding sex and marriage, used her public story as an example of the current cultural mores surrounding sex. If you read the above link, you’ll see that the point of the post is not about Rebecca personally: she’s just a particular example of a larger behavior pattern.

Of course, if you post on the internet about how you feel bad because a couple of guys refused to date you before your divorce paperwork is finalized, it’s a good bet that somebody, somewhere, is going to call you a slut. That would be because their definition of “slut” includes women who sleep around on their husbands before they finalize their divorces. And if you post pictures of yourself online, it’s also a good bet that somebody might come around and call you ugly, especially if you make yourself into a public figure by, say, posting blogs on a website that’s about sex. Of course, if you’re an adult, you don’t care if people with the emotional maturity of seventh graders call you an ugly slut, because you don’t really care what people who engage in playground insults think of you.

But if you’re Rebecca, you apparently think that playground insults constitute “toxic” commentary (baby, have you ever seen the 4chan boards?) and you desperately attempt to stir up a mob to get another blogger silenced for… sending you more clickbait? Isn’t whoring for clickbait the definition of a Frisky blogger’s job?… because some emotionally immature people made negative comments and even hurled playground insults at you.

News flash, children: not everyone in the world is obliged to validate your life choices. In fact, no matter what life choices you make, someone is going to think you made the wrong decision! An adult would carefully consider whether or not the people criticizing you have a point, and whether or not you care. If you put yourself “out there” and insist upon talking about “hot topics” like, say, sex, religion, or politics, you’re going to catch some flak. Rude people exist. It is not anyone else’s job to prevent rude people from calling you names on the internet. If rude people calling you names on the internet causes you mental anguish, don’t read the comments sections! Seriously. Real life is not your personal playpen and the universe does not revolve around you. 

Because the truth is that if immature boors are throwing insults at you, that makes them look bad to the audience, not you. But of course, if you’re ashamed of your behavior and the insult fits… well then, I guess your only option is to run to somebody else and cry so those meaniefaces will be silenced by somebody else and you won’t have to defend your choices, isn’t it?

“Mooooooooooooooooooooooommmyyyyy! Those nasty boys said mean things about me! Make them stop!”

 

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About pancakeloach

pancakeloach.wordpress.com :)
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One Response to No One is Obliged to Validate You

  1. gdgm+ says:

    Good post — I have also mentioned it at Dalrock’s.

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