One pithy little saying that gets tossed around, humorously, in my rather conservative, patriarchal circle is that “Liberal women think all men are pigs because THEIR men ARE pigs!” And of course, we have Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and a number of Kennedy men to prove the point.
So when I saw this comment, and the subsequent comments, on the Further Adventures Of People Criticizing Larry Correia, it reminded me of that little phrase.
What Western subculture is most likely to produce young men who think it’s okay to take sexual advantage of women? That would be the subculture that teaches kids in school that it’s okay to have meaningless casual sex as long as you use condoms, do what feels good, and that there’s no difference between men and women, and that for a woman to have lots of casual sex is “empowering.”
So if a young man, who’s been fed all these lies, goes to a party in which everyone is getting stupid-drunk, what reason will he have for being a gentleman and not taking advantage? He’s been told that women are just like men, and for a man, it certainly IS empowering if a nubile young woman were to throw herself upon him and do virtually any sort of sex act even if he were the worse for drink. He’s just giving the girl some feel-good times! He’d totally be okay with it if their positions were reversed!
Of course, the truth is that women are NOT like men, and while a great many young men would be totally 100% okay with having his best buds upload a picture of him being molested by an attractive girl while he was practically passed-out drunk to the internet, when such a thing happens to a young woman the results are not pretty. (Whine about the injustice of differing standards all you like; it doesn’t change the truth on the ground. Take it up with biology.)
So yes, I suppose educating THOSE men about what constitutes “rape” might be useful. You can start off by telling them, “You know, when we said there weren’t any real differences between men and women, we were lying. You might think it’s groovy if a girl’s all over you while you’re drunk off your gourd, but women don’t treat sex like men treat sex, and girls don’t want you to touch them sexually while they’re too intoxicated. Even if you’d be okay with it happening with the sexes reversed.”
And then, of course, if you’re not going to be a hypocrite, you have to teach girls “Don’t use alcohol as an aphrodisiac.” Because every time a young woman follows Pink’s Party Plan, it just encourages the kind of man who is most definitely NOT a gentleman and will take advantage of a foolish woman. And that not-gentleman might be the kind of narcissistic cad who already knows what he’s doing is wrong and simply finds that environment perfect for sexual predation; or he might be one of your clueless feminist men who actually believes women are equal and can therefore make decisions for themselves, like whether or not to drink to excess and make out with random strangers in a bar. (I wish I could put a /sarc tag on that, but unfortunately not.)
And of course, let’s address another kind of man produced by sex-positive feminist indoctrination: the man who believes it’s okay to psychologically pressure a woman to have sex with him. Because it’s just sex! Why is she making this such a big deal! What’s her hangup? He’s been taught all his life that men and women are the same – which means she must be just as horny (which might well be true) and as willing to have casual meaningless sex as he is (which is probably NOT true). Which means, of course, that if she says “no,” then she’s insulting him. If sex is valuable rather than casual, a woman who says “No, I won’t sleep with you” isn’t automatically insulting a man by implying he’s too unattractive for her. And let’s be honest, here: in a culture where sex is casual, a young woman knows nobody is going to have her back against the kind of guy who uses emotional blackmail to pressure girlfriends into his bed. They’re going to blame her for “unreasonably” rejecting such a charming boyfriend like him. Right up until she finds the “all PIV sex is rape” school of feminism, which mainly lives – you guessed it! – in Women’s Studies departments.
So what are people arguing for, when they champion “teaching men not to rape”? A return to chivalry, with the exception that if a woman wants to act like a whore, a “gentleman” will oblige her – and still respect her as a lady in the morning. But he’s not allowed to proposition these newly “empowered” lady-whores, because a gentleman would never presume such offense! Unless he’s powerful and attractive, in which case, any bad behavior on his part will still be swept under the rug, just as before in the Bad Old Days of Patriarchal Oppression.
The rules of chivalry, as Instapundit likes to remind us, had reciprocal obligations placed upon women to act like ladies if they wanted men to be obligated to be gentlemanly. Therefore the kind of respect that these people want – the respect given to ladies – is not something that can be unconditionally given. A gentleman might treat every woman he first meets as a lady, but for him to continue giving her such high esteem, that respect must be EARNED. And the way to earn it is by one’s actions. Just as a gentleman is not going to dress like a gang member and expect to be admitted to a black-tie event, a lady must not wear the whore’s uniform and expect to be treated like a duchess. Either you may have your “sex-positive” culture in which even unattractive men may look at your displayed assets and even rudely proposition you and expect you to say yes by default(!), OR you may have a culture of respect wherein you communicate by word and dress and deed that you possess the virtue of self-restraint and intend to keep it.
Face the facts: most men would be very happy to be the subjects of objectifying gazes, appreciative catcalls, and blunt, tactless invitations to sexual congress in virtually any state of inebriation. By teaching the lie that men and woman are the same, and that sex is meaningless pleasure, in nearly every public school in the land (there might yet be a few, in isolated subcultures, where this does not hold true) it is the feminists themselves who have TAUGHT men to “rape,” in all of these cases where true – forcible – rape is not happening, but the feminists are still all up in arms over male misbehavior.
No wonder their men are such pigs, and need to be taught that the logical conclusions of feminist thinking are not, in fact, what real women – including those selfsame feminists! – actually want.