Running a link chain from Dalrock to Things that We have Heard and Known, I have been following with interest a comment conversation on a post about women showing interest to guys – a sorta Girl Game post. The blogfodder part of the conversation is the recent bit in which various people have pointed out that identifying as a Christian male is a good way to kill your dating chances. Even with supposedly “Christian” women.
Hmmmm. I wonder why that would be? /sarc
Now, there is a problem in Churchianity – related to my earlier post on the Gospel of Being Nice – in which
all most of the men are henpecked beta schlobs with no spine and no balls, because they’ve been taught that proper Christians never stand up for anything and definitely avoid hurting other people’s feeeeeeeelings as if doing so were a one-way ticket to Hell. Women are not actually sexually attracted to these guys, but they feel socially obligated (for now) to marry them (and extract resources from them) when they feel the Baby Rabies coming on. That’s why the divorce rate for mainline religious people is, surprise surprise, the same as for non-religious people. A lot of “religious” women are “settling” for reliable Christian providers after they’ve had their fun dating the bad boys.
Watch out for that, if you’re a guy who identifies up front as a Christian. You don’t wanna end up like poor Lief Erikson, who thought he’d finally made it to the end of the Nice Guy Fairytale (in which the Girl realizes his worth after having her heart repeatedly broken by all the Bad Boys and marries him and they live Happily Ever After) only to experience the cold reality that Happily Ever After is more than likely going to get cut off at the knees by Surprise Frivolous Divorce. Girl Next Door is a thing. Guy Next Door is NOT a thing; in fact, it’s such a not-thing that the tvtropes link redirects back to Girl Next Door. Examples of Guy Next Door would be Untruth in Television. Only the sheer desperation of millions of beta males keeps the male version alive in fiction. Once you are Friend-Zoned the only solution is to leave the country for at least a year, travel the world, become badass, and come back tanned, toned, and with lots of Facebook photos of you mountain climbing, skydiving, scuba-diving, etc. and hanging out with hot foreign chicks. (Thus why the manosphere advice in the case of friend-zoning is “Forget her and move on to flirting with the next girl” since a gym membership and/or local extreme sports is a lot easier on the pocketbook.)
Allow me to share a thirty-five-year-old secondhand anecdote. My father met my mother at a Bible study, somehow the topic of dating came up, and he asked her why she’d been dating non-Christian men. Her response? “No Christian guys have ever asked me out.” He asked her out on the spot, telling her, “Now you don’t have an excuse!” They were married until her death parted them.
“Christian” men need to stop being wusses. “Christian” girls need to stop being sluts. These two failures are going to be much easier to correct if they are corrected in tandem – the girls will get the sexually desirable men that they want, and the guys will be rewarded for correct manly behavior with properly enthusiastic and committed sex, and not the Carousel leftovers who are only going to stick around until the kids are picking up after themselves and divorce is (more) convenient. Yes, respecting one’s husband is something wives do as an act of obedience to God – but fleeing from temptation in this case involves choosing a man you don’t already disrespect to marry. Women, don’t do that to yourselves. Men, don’t let a woman do that to you.