Femalespeak

It is one of those facts of life that even though men and women allegedly speak the same mother tongue – let us use, for example, English – their actual usage of said mother tongue is so different that it might as well be nigh-incomprehensible dialects.

For instance, “fair” in Man Language means “an equitable distribution.” In Femalespeak, “fair” means “whatever gives me an advantage I desire, whether I did anything to earn it or not.” (I can attest to this through personal experience.)

In Man Language, “independent” means “providing for all my own needs by my own efforts; not relying on others for unearned goods.” In femalespeak, “independent” means “having all my basic needs heavily subsidized by the government so that I can be free to pursue life as I please instead of suffering the natural results of my poor decisions and serving as a warning to others not to repeat my mistakes.”

I wish I were kidding. For every babymomma like this who makes the necessary sacrifices to be as decent a mother to a drug-addicted criminal’s bastard offspring as she can be, there are many, many others who are not going to have this woman’s drive to succeed and make the best of all her (government-provided) opportunities – or her luck in snagging a guy who was willing to marry her after she got pregnant on their first date. What if he had told her, “Sorry, I had fun that night, but you already have a daughter and I have a son, I think you should abort the baby, and by the way, I don’t want to see you ever again”? This woman has apparently never, ever been independent in her whole life – she went from welfare babymomma to wife: other people have been providing her basic support for, at the very least, the vast majority of her entire life.

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About pancakeloach

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