Ever listened to Pink’s song, Blow Me One Last Kiss?

“I’ll dress nice, I’ll look good, I’ll go dancing alone
I will laugh, I’ll get drunk, I’ll take somebody home”

Obviously if “impaired consent” isn’t real consent, Pink is advocating women going out and getting themselves raped as a coping mechanism for bad breakups! RAPE CULTURE! MISOGYNY! PATRIARCHY! ZOMG, CALL IN THE FEMINIST PARATROOPERS! Except, you know, that’s how some women actually want their sexual encounters to go, which makes it… y’know… not rape. Meaning, if your plan is NOT to go out, get wasted, and take somebody home, take steps to avoid it happening, other than expecting a guy, who’s probably just as drunk as you are, to know whether or not that was your plan all along. Magically. Just. Say. No. (to the alcohol, if you have reason to believe that you’ll get sufficiently wasted to start saying “yes” to things you really will regret in the morning!)

Yeah. Somehow I think those lyrics are supposed to be about female sexual empowerment, or some shit like that. Somehow I don’t think it works out as advertised for most women. Sure, it probably does work for the true sluts who do find guilt-free empowerment in casual, alcohol-fueled sexual encounters… but I suspect such creatures are quite, quite rare. Similar to leprechauns and unicorns rare. (Ever read Ecclesiastes? Essentially, “I went chasing after every hedonistic pleasure I wanted to, AND IT ALL SUCKED IN THE END.” People have been trying that route to happiness since The Beginning of Time, and every time… it fails. Huh.)


About pancakeloach

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