He can do something better than you

Now, there’s a lot of articles about “where have all the good men gone??” if you care to look about for them, and I was thinking just now about how happy I am that I married a guy who is smarter than I am, so I decided to make a post about it. (I’ve been bad about updating lately!)

To snag an awesome guy is the natural desire of women, for various reasons, but suffice to say that if a woman can’t respect her man, their relationship is pretty much the Titanic and not a dream vacation Caribbean cruise liner.

But women have been outperforming men in formal education for decades now; so what’s a woman to do, if she’s got a college degree? Considering it’s the college educated women who are still marriage-minded, if they’re looking about for better-credentialed men, there’s going to be a huge competition. I have a vague idea that it’s getting to the point where there’s two women for every man, kind of huge competition.

So. You need to find a guy who’s smarter than you (for whatever value of “smarter” you find most attractive. Maybe it’s “more capable at X, Y, Z than I am”; I’m a nerd, so I had to find a guy who is a better nerd than I am) so how do you find those guys? Well, if “higher educational achievement” isn’t a really high priority on your list, I’d recommend looking at other achievements rather than diplomas. Suss out his hobbies, his work-related achievements, that kind of thing. My own DH is a several-times-over wargame champion, and while you’re never going to catch me playing one of the board games that come with about a thousand counters and an eighty-page rule book (plus five extra ones for scenarios!), I do play a few of the more simple games with him and various friends and family. In some of them, I even occasionally win! But what usually happens in a game we play together is… I get trounced. There’s one particular app game (which is team-based so we’re not competing directly) in which he routinely ranks much higher than I do… despite the fact that I have more time to play than he does. (The not-competing-directly thing is key. I don’t play direct-competition games in which I might take the gameplay personally and end up sulking like a brat.) He also plays Warhammer… and paints his own models. I’m not an artistic soul so seeing the painstaking detail and the myriad techniques that go into creating something so tiny and highly detailed is amazing!

So, once you’ve found this area in which he can display his superiority, the other side of the coin is that you have to keep participating. Don’t run away and refuse to compete because you lost a round, or the last ten rounds, or something: that’s very tempting, but part of keeping your attraction to your husband is to make sure you’re around to see his displays of high value! Sure, it’s a little galling to the pride to lose AGAIN, but this is a great way to heap sincere praise upon your husband, and to keep your ego from swelling in a cultural environment that tells you “boys suck, girlz rule” all the time.

Put yourself in a place where you’ll be reminded, regularly, that this is a lie. It may take some effort, if your guy isn’t the type to brag: sleuth it out!


About pancakeloach

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