Now, this post from Dalrock is actually about combating reframing, not an exegesis of the Scripture in question. However, I’d like to point out that if you claim to be Christian, and are a married woman, the only instance in which it may possibly be permissible for you to deny sex to your husband is if you’re literally writhing in agony.
When you said “I do,” you said “yes” – now and forever, always.
However, to the men, I would like to say… please remember that women’s libido does not function the same way as men’s. If male sexual desire is like a switch that’s either “on” or “off” then women’s is more like a progress bar – “loading… loading… loading…” Don’t make ambiguous overtures and then think that your wife is rejecting your advances when she doesn’t immediately rip all your clothes off. This is very frustrating to your wife as well as damaging to you and your marriage. If you think she’s constantly refusing you sex, but hasn’t actually said so in words, it may be a case of you not making your “Let’s have sex now!” intentions sufficiently clear. A consistent pattern of you doing nothing more than light petting and giving up disappointed is counterproductive. Be more aggressive; it’s understandable that you don’t want to risk sexual rejection, but by not making your intentions to Have Sex Now crystal clear you’re pretty much setting yourself up for consistent failure, since you end up giving up before the loading bar hits 30%.
Going back to wives… you probably have to tell him to be more aggressive. I know, I know, there’s the whole “It doesn’t count if I have to SAY IT” thing, but consider it the price of living in an emasculating culture. Tell him to sex you up properly until it sticks and he knows it’s okay to do so without prompting from you. 😉
Also, “I’m too tired” and “I have a headache” are cop-outs and everybody knows it. Besides, aside from the aforementioned writhing-in-agony migraine, sex is good for headaches!